Hello...Do I not look prego?

Before my pregnancy I would always watch how people would react when a pregnant woman boards the train and wonder how they feel when no one offers a seat. Now that I am preggers I can now answer my own question!

In the beginning of my pregnancy I would make jokes about people not getting up for me because while I knew I was pregnant the average person couldn’t really tell. Being pregnant in the fall is interesting because it’s not too cold but you still may need a coat. That said, within my first 3 months or so when the bump was barely poking out I was only offered a seat twice! Once because I was reading my pregnancy info I had just received from my OB/GYN at like one month, and again by a nice white man because I had on this skin tight dress. That’s it! I did't actually care to have a seat but the jester was nice.

Now that I’m REALLY pregnant, 5 months and showing, no one even blinks at me! NO ONE! Granted its cold out and I have on my enormous coat, I make sure to unzip and remove my scarf…still nothing. I made a few jokes about this issue on facebook a couple of times but this is a serious matter. LoL!

My train ride today really set me off! It was about 8pm, still a bit of rush hour traffic so the train is crowded; I board the Q train near the end by a two seater where a young man and what appears to be an older woman is sitting. Exhibit A:

 

As I mentioned before, I made sure to unzip my coat before boarding the train. I look at in this man face and poke my belly out; he looked up once maybe twice then looks at the ground and closes his eyes as if he was sleep!!!! The crazy part is when the train was crossing the bridge and we were able to receive phone service he went to reach for his phone with his eyes partially closed looking toward the floor!!! I wanted to flip out. But I said to myself, “No, Toya, what would Jesus do?!?”

I decided if he was going to play sleep this entire train ride, it was going to be a rough sleep! I made sure to hit him with my bag, bump him with my knee, and step alllll over his shoes until he got the message or got off the train! I definitely don’t think he was getting the message because even at one of the stops the train message came on, “offer your seat to pregnant women..blah..Courtesy starts with you!” I was so tired today and my back was hurting I really wanted a seat.

I bet your wondering maybe my belly wasn’t showing enough…Tuh! Please look at the picture I took at work. MY BELLY IS HUGE! He was so rude. He finally got off the train a couple of stops before mine but that just was not good enough.

My thoughts on Public Transportation Courtesy…

• I wish people would learn some!

Wrap up question

Who is should get offered a seat first? The elderly, the pregnant, the mom-baby duo, the woman, the child?

It's a Girl!!!

Dec 30, 2010 took forever to arrive!!! I tried to schedule my doctor’s appointment on my birthday, Dec10, but of course all plans don’t always work in your favor. This was the first time my boyfriend was coming with me to a doctor’s visit…unfortunately I did not give him the heads up about the poor customer service or the extended wait time.

My appointment was at 10am, and yes we were on time. I registered and we found a seat and sat for a good 2 ½ hours before being called. He was restless; I was hungry and close to becoming very pissed. I went to ask the lady sitting at the desk what the holdup was and she tells me there are only two sonogram doctors so they are a bit backed up but she will go see where I am on the list. She must have been gone for maybe 10-15min only to come back to tell me “I May Be Next”…Ummm what the heck does that mean?

Finally the doctor called my name and my boyfriend and I were happy again, only for a second. I don’t know how everyone else operated but I like for my doctors to introduce themselves and build a friendly rapport with me. This doctor in particular did none of the above! After calling my name she said follow me and walked us to the room. We get to the room and she instructs me to use the restroom. As soon as I walked out she directs me to the table and to pull my pants down a bit (sheesh still no introduction) and she slapped my belly with the grease. She didn’t even wait for my boyfriend to come out the bathroom she just went to work. Then when he tried to stand in front of me to look at the screen she says, “Step back and sit down this is going to be a while!”

He’s the father so umm why can he not look. We already been here for over two hours, we know this is going to be long. She did not crack a smile, nothing. I finally asked, “Doc, what’s going on down there?”

She replied, “I’m taking pictured of every body part, but everything looks good. Would you like to know the sex of the baby?”

“Ummm Yes, please,” I replied.

“It looks like a girl,” she says (this means that there is a 5% chance this could be a boy).

My boyfriend was floored. I really wanted a girl and he really wanted a boy, but none the less he was and is super happy for the healthy results for our baby girl, Alissa Rai. This is one of the best moments of my life, what a blessing! I couldn’t ask for more.

My thoughts on doctor visits...

• If it matters to you make sure your doctor is friendly, welcoming, and nice if possible.

Wrap up question

How was your experience when you found out the sex of you baby (s)?

~BK Mommy2Be

Cravings...Nope, not me!

Cravings aka the Food Devil…

I'm a bit confused because one of my friends said she experienced cravings more toward the end of her pregnancy. Another friend said it kicked in immediately. When will my cravings kick in? I have to admit though, as my 18th week approached something hit me...4am I was STARVING!!!

I’d like to think that I have a regular eating schedule…Breakfast-Snack-Lunch-Snack-Dinner-Snack. LoL! Since the extreme hunger I’ve added an extra breakfast stop. This is I hope is normal too!?! These are some serious hunger pains. I don't have a taste for anything in particular I am just hungry! Thank goodness I don't keep sweets in the house. I usually eat cereal, yogurt, or a fruit. The next issue is the 8am hunger bite! This is absurd. So of course I have to whip something up before going to work but this only holds me until 10:30am!

I sincerely believe that cravings are the key to weight gain! And I am soooo terrified of becoming overweight during pregnancy. Since being pregnant I’ve only gained 12lbs! The doctor says I’m progressing well so I shouldn’t be worried.

My thoughts on Cravings…

• Well when they kick in I will revisit this area. Until then I can only comment on my extreme hunger…hearty moderation is key!
• While fruit is good it still produces natural sugars and can result in diabetes…so I hear
• Don’t starve yourself!

Wrap up question?

When should my cravings kick in?

~BKMommy2Be

90 Days...Seriously?

During our "Plan" I never thought about what would happen if in the even I find a new job. This was a terrible mistake on my end. As August was ending and pregnancy near I'm realizing that my job is driving me nuts and I have to leave. This was definitely the hardest job hunt ever! I told my boyfriend that if I did not find a new gig by the end of September I was just going to stick it out until the end of the pregnancy. During my job hunt I did not tell anyone I was prego, one it was way to soon and two it was none of their business.

Finally, the last week in September I signed on to my new gig and broke the news to my bosses -- both pregnancy and departure date. Instead of finishing out my two weeks I decided to work one week and take my last vacation week. At the time it seemed like a super idea until my first doctor's appointment came around. It just so happens that the my first appointment was on the last day of my employment which was the biggest headache ever, but I managed to get through it. Not knowing the worst was yet to come!

When I spoke with my soon-to-be new boss one of my main questions were when does my insurance kick in. I'm so sure she said 30 days that I didn't bother to inquire any further at that time. I figured I had my first doctor's visit and wouldn't need another for a while and I could just push my next appointment into the following month. Please keep in mind my start date was the first week in October. While filling out my benefits info something told me to call the company to verify my insurance active date...DEC1!!! I was hysterical sitting at my desk in disbelief thinking what the heck I am going to do for 90 days? 

My advice on New Jobs and Benefits...

DOUBLE CHECK WITH THE HR DEPARTMENT BEFORE START DATE!!!

Wrap up question

Does the date your benefits kick in determine whether you take a job or not?

~BKMommy2Be

I love being Pregnant...at this Point!

At only 18 weeks pregnant I may complain and bitch but I really do enjoy the motions of being pregnant! It is one of the most amazing thing a woman can do. Every time I take a moment out of my day to think about my baby growing inside of me just sends chills up my spine. It is so true when women say they never thought they could love someone so much!

I just can't wait to meet him/her so I can give all the love that I can possibly give. Oddly enough I am actually looking forward to the not only the good but the bad times that come with raising a child. In my world you're only as strong as your last challenge and this will be a great challenge!

I would also like to acknowledge the fact that my family, friends, and boyfriend all have been so supportive, helpful, and understanding. I couldn't ask for a better support group!!!

To all the new moms congratulations and soon to be moms good luck, and to the moms that raised kids or still raising keep up the good work!

~BK Mommy2Be

The Plan...

Last October '09, my boyfriend and I decided to plan when we will start “working” on having a baby. The real story though…He was turning 30 and the “I’m getting old and need kids” bug was hitting him hard! I’m sure he even said, maybe on more than one occasion, that he feels left out because all of his friends have children and he doesn’t. *Side eye*

Compromise... That said, I was only turning 26 that year, and had JUST landed a new job, that at the time I thought was promising. During our baby talk I made an agreement… I was though a little hesitant, but I eventually gave in and asked him to give me a year so I can settle in at this new job and let the maternity leave kick in. Deal!

I’m quite positive my friends thought I was nuts for trying to plan my pregnancy. They believe you can’t plan everything, especially pregnancy! I disagree, because I did, and I’m sure many other couples did as well. Granted it happened 2 months earlier than proposed, it was still planned.

Fast forward to August '10, I think my boyfriend and I had a conversation about being ready and we should just get the show on the road. So I began researching different sites about what to do when trying to get pregnant and decided to stop drinking (socially of course) for a few weeks and lay off the sushi. I also checked out an ovulation calculator on http://www.babycenter.com/ and boy was it accurate!!! You will be ovulating between Aug22-Aug27 the site spit out. So we got it poppin everyday that week!

My advice on effective “baby making” planning, if that is what you want to do...

·         Communicate- talking with your significant other and come to a conclusion as to when would be the appropriate time.

·         Research- read a couple of different pregnancy sites and decide which method will work best for you. Try the ovulation calculator!!! If you keep track of period this should work.

Wrap up question

 Just because you plan on having a baby, are you really ever ready? Can you expect what is to come?

~BK Mommy2Be