Hello...Do I not look prego?

Before my pregnancy I would always watch how people would react when a pregnant woman boards the train and wonder how they feel when no one offers a seat. Now that I am preggers I can now answer my own question!

In the beginning of my pregnancy I would make jokes about people not getting up for me because while I knew I was pregnant the average person couldn’t really tell. Being pregnant in the fall is interesting because it’s not too cold but you still may need a coat. That said, within my first 3 months or so when the bump was barely poking out I was only offered a seat twice! Once because I was reading my pregnancy info I had just received from my OB/GYN at like one month, and again by a nice white man because I had on this skin tight dress. That’s it! I did't actually care to have a seat but the jester was nice.

Now that I’m REALLY pregnant, 5 months and showing, no one even blinks at me! NO ONE! Granted its cold out and I have on my enormous coat, I make sure to unzip and remove my scarf…still nothing. I made a few jokes about this issue on facebook a couple of times but this is a serious matter. LoL!

My train ride today really set me off! It was about 8pm, still a bit of rush hour traffic so the train is crowded; I board the Q train near the end by a two seater where a young man and what appears to be an older woman is sitting. Exhibit A:

 

As I mentioned before, I made sure to unzip my coat before boarding the train. I look at in this man face and poke my belly out; he looked up once maybe twice then looks at the ground and closes his eyes as if he was sleep!!!! The crazy part is when the train was crossing the bridge and we were able to receive phone service he went to reach for his phone with his eyes partially closed looking toward the floor!!! I wanted to flip out. But I said to myself, “No, Toya, what would Jesus do?!?”

I decided if he was going to play sleep this entire train ride, it was going to be a rough sleep! I made sure to hit him with my bag, bump him with my knee, and step alllll over his shoes until he got the message or got off the train! I definitely don’t think he was getting the message because even at one of the stops the train message came on, “offer your seat to pregnant women..blah..Courtesy starts with you!” I was so tired today and my back was hurting I really wanted a seat.

I bet your wondering maybe my belly wasn’t showing enough…Tuh! Please look at the picture I took at work. MY BELLY IS HUGE! He was so rude. He finally got off the train a couple of stops before mine but that just was not good enough.

My thoughts on Public Transportation Courtesy…

• I wish people would learn some!

Wrap up question

Who is should get offered a seat first? The elderly, the pregnant, the mom-baby duo, the woman, the child?

It's a Girl!!!

Dec 30, 2010 took forever to arrive!!! I tried to schedule my doctor’s appointment on my birthday, Dec10, but of course all plans don’t always work in your favor. This was the first time my boyfriend was coming with me to a doctor’s visit…unfortunately I did not give him the heads up about the poor customer service or the extended wait time.

My appointment was at 10am, and yes we were on time. I registered and we found a seat and sat for a good 2 ½ hours before being called. He was restless; I was hungry and close to becoming very pissed. I went to ask the lady sitting at the desk what the holdup was and she tells me there are only two sonogram doctors so they are a bit backed up but she will go see where I am on the list. She must have been gone for maybe 10-15min only to come back to tell me “I May Be Next”…Ummm what the heck does that mean?

Finally the doctor called my name and my boyfriend and I were happy again, only for a second. I don’t know how everyone else operated but I like for my doctors to introduce themselves and build a friendly rapport with me. This doctor in particular did none of the above! After calling my name she said follow me and walked us to the room. We get to the room and she instructs me to use the restroom. As soon as I walked out she directs me to the table and to pull my pants down a bit (sheesh still no introduction) and she slapped my belly with the grease. She didn’t even wait for my boyfriend to come out the bathroom she just went to work. Then when he tried to stand in front of me to look at the screen she says, “Step back and sit down this is going to be a while!”

He’s the father so umm why can he not look. We already been here for over two hours, we know this is going to be long. She did not crack a smile, nothing. I finally asked, “Doc, what’s going on down there?”

She replied, “I’m taking pictured of every body part, but everything looks good. Would you like to know the sex of the baby?”

“Ummm Yes, please,” I replied.

“It looks like a girl,” she says (this means that there is a 5% chance this could be a boy).

My boyfriend was floored. I really wanted a girl and he really wanted a boy, but none the less he was and is super happy for the healthy results for our baby girl, Alissa Rai. This is one of the best moments of my life, what a blessing! I couldn’t ask for more.

My thoughts on doctor visits...

• If it matters to you make sure your doctor is friendly, welcoming, and nice if possible.

Wrap up question

How was your experience when you found out the sex of you baby (s)?

~BK Mommy2Be

Cravings...Nope, not me!

Cravings aka the Food Devil…

I'm a bit confused because one of my friends said she experienced cravings more toward the end of her pregnancy. Another friend said it kicked in immediately. When will my cravings kick in? I have to admit though, as my 18th week approached something hit me...4am I was STARVING!!!

I’d like to think that I have a regular eating schedule…Breakfast-Snack-Lunch-Snack-Dinner-Snack. LoL! Since the extreme hunger I’ve added an extra breakfast stop. This is I hope is normal too!?! These are some serious hunger pains. I don't have a taste for anything in particular I am just hungry! Thank goodness I don't keep sweets in the house. I usually eat cereal, yogurt, or a fruit. The next issue is the 8am hunger bite! This is absurd. So of course I have to whip something up before going to work but this only holds me until 10:30am!

I sincerely believe that cravings are the key to weight gain! And I am soooo terrified of becoming overweight during pregnancy. Since being pregnant I’ve only gained 12lbs! The doctor says I’m progressing well so I shouldn’t be worried.

My thoughts on Cravings…

• Well when they kick in I will revisit this area. Until then I can only comment on my extreme hunger…hearty moderation is key!
• While fruit is good it still produces natural sugars and can result in diabetes…so I hear
• Don’t starve yourself!

Wrap up question?

When should my cravings kick in?

~BKMommy2Be

Do I qualify for anything?

I was so excited to finally have found a new gig that I didn’t think about the important details such as INSURANCE.  Yes, I knew I was pregnant, and Yes I knew that insurance was important but I also thought, for a split second, that benefits kick in immediately at all companies…WRONG!

My Aunt asked if I inquired about their benefits policy and I said yes because I did in fact ask and my soon-to-be boss said “30 days”.  I was ok with the company’s 30 day policy because I was only 4 weeks prego at the time and could hold off on my second doctor’s appointment.  But when I made the call to Oxford to confirm I found out two very important things…

1.) Benefits are not active until Dec1 (90 days from my start date)

2.) The plan is Oxford Liberty which meant that I can no longer use my current OB/GYN because they do not accept my Oxford Libery.

If I could replay every emotion that was running thru my body at the time it would be unbelievable! I was sooooooo PISSED, the worst part was I had no one to be mad at. Not that I would have turned down the job but sheeeesh, 90 day and I had to find a new doctor…Something has got to give!!!

I finally calmed down and gathered my thoughts and figured there has to be something out there temporarily. My Aunt suggesting looking into COBRA, a company that supplies temporary insurance after employment but that cost like $500 a months. I was looking for something closer to ummm FREE!

I must have searched the internet until my eyes were ready to fall out. I finally came across a few different programs: Health Plus, Medicaid, and PCAP (prenatal care assistance program). As I was looking deeper into each program I realized that I don't qualify for ANYTHING! Why you ask... income requirements. What I gathered from Medicaid and Health Plus is if you’re not POOR we can't help you because if you’re rich you can afford healthcare. But what about the Middle Class with a temporary situation? Who helps us? I even thought that I could possible qualify for PCAP. I definitely misread the qualifications and the PCAP phone operator lied to me (or mislead)! I was under the impression that ALL pregnant women receive FREE prenatal care NO MATTER WHAT-- not the case.

My prenatal service at the participating hospital I thought was free until I received a $678 bill. It ended up being voided but I still had to pay a $30 co-pay.  I can’t wait to talk about my first hospital visit!

For more info on COBRA: http://www.dol.gov/ebsa/faqs/faq_consumer_cobra.HTML

For more info on Health Plus: http://www.healthplus-ny.org/en/8198_ENG_HTML.html

For more info on Medicaid: http://www.cms.gov/MedicaidEligibility/02_AreYouEligible_.asp#TopOfPage

For more info on PCAP: http://www.emedny.org/ProviderManuals/Prenatal/PDFS/Prenatal-Policy_Section.pdf

My advice on gaps between jobs and benefits

• Ask a thousand and one questions until you are sure
• Try and have a back-up plan for insurance gaps

Wrap up question

Is there FREE prenatal services for middle class women?

~BK Mommy2Be

90 Days...Seriously?

During our "Plan" I never thought about what would happen if in the even I find a new job. This was a terrible mistake on my end. As August was ending and pregnancy near I'm realizing that my job is driving me nuts and I have to leave. This was definitely the hardest job hunt ever! I told my boyfriend that if I did not find a new gig by the end of September I was just going to stick it out until the end of the pregnancy. During my job hunt I did not tell anyone I was prego, one it was way to soon and two it was none of their business.

Finally, the last week in September I signed on to my new gig and broke the news to my bosses -- both pregnancy and departure date. Instead of finishing out my two weeks I decided to work one week and take my last vacation week. At the time it seemed like a super idea until my first doctor's appointment came around. It just so happens that the my first appointment was on the last day of my employment which was the biggest headache ever, but I managed to get through it. Not knowing the worst was yet to come!

When I spoke with my soon-to-be new boss one of my main questions were when does my insurance kick in. I'm so sure she said 30 days that I didn't bother to inquire any further at that time. I figured I had my first doctor's visit and wouldn't need another for a while and I could just push my next appointment into the following month. Please keep in mind my start date was the first week in October. While filling out my benefits info something told me to call the company to verify my insurance active date...DEC1!!! I was hysterical sitting at my desk in disbelief thinking what the heck I am going to do for 90 days? 

My advice on New Jobs and Benefits...

DOUBLE CHECK WITH THE HR DEPARTMENT BEFORE START DATE!!!

Wrap up question

Does the date your benefits kick in determine whether you take a job or not?

~BKMommy2Be

I love being Pregnant...at this Point!

At only 18 weeks pregnant I may complain and bitch but I really do enjoy the motions of being pregnant! It is one of the most amazing thing a woman can do. Every time I take a moment out of my day to think about my baby growing inside of me just sends chills up my spine. It is so true when women say they never thought they could love someone so much!

I just can't wait to meet him/her so I can give all the love that I can possibly give. Oddly enough I am actually looking forward to the not only the good but the bad times that come with raising a child. In my world you're only as strong as your last challenge and this will be a great challenge!

I would also like to acknowledge the fact that my family, friends, and boyfriend all have been so supportive, helpful, and understanding. I couldn't ask for a better support group!!!

To all the new moms congratulations and soon to be moms good luck, and to the moms that raised kids or still raising keep up the good work!

~BK Mommy2Be

Is this Normal?

There are soooo many tales, rumors, and myths associated with being pregnant that I thought I was mentally prepared for everything! WRONG...As mentioned in a previous post, my first main symptom before any test was taken was Fatigue, followed by mild cramps and spotting that prompt me to take a test. 6 tests later and a scheduled doctors visit I was patiently awaiting the rest of the symptoms.

In the beginning everyone would ask, "Do u have any morning sickness?"
Then around 10 weeks the question became, "You still haven't had morning sickness yet?"And the reply remained the same, nope. I read a few articles and confirmed not everyone experiences morning sickness and was relieved that it skipped me!

During my first few weeks I experienced some serious gas pains!!! And I stress this because I know a couple of people that had children recently, and NO ONE informed me of the GAS! This is Very annoying and uncomfortable. The gas pain eventually subsided as everything found its place I guess. I also drank a lot of Ginger Tea!

Now that the gas has passed (Literally) here come the migraines! I'm sure no one likes to get a headache, but try having a migraine and having only Tylenol to rely on. This is absurd! I definitely feel as though the headaches and fatigue is going stick around for a while. I try to drink a lot of tea but it doesn't always work. Also every morning around 4am I AM STARVING!!!

One of my most annoying, and ongoing symptom...Tender BooBs!!! OMG, I knew they were going to grow from a Curvaceous C to a Delicious D but DaMn this is what I have to deal with in the mean time?!?! Not cool! I loved my padded bra...but where is it now...stuffed at the back of my drawer hibernating. I've now been introduced to wireless-nursing bras...comfy yet not sexy! And because my breasts are so sensitive my boyfriend is no longer allowed to touch them, unfortunately. But that is a whole other topic. LoL

Last, (for now at least) Mood Swings!!! I am not an extra emotional female; however, these hormones bring out the best and the worst. For example, when I'm the only sober person in the room I tend to notice more than usual and I get annoyed WAY faster. My boyfriend is the main witness to this. Everything is fine when we are both sober but as soon as he become intoxicated my mood changes instantly. In the beginning I didn't really notice but as the weeks passed I took a look back at the events a came to a conclusion...I'm just mad that him and everyone else that is not pregnant can have a drink and I can't so they all look stupid and do stupid things that piss me off! I'm sure I can write a book about how badly I've been treating my boyfriend, granted it's not ALL my fault. 

My note on Pregnancy Symptoms

• If you’re pregnant and telling others about your symptoms do not hold back, tell them all the details!
• If you’re planning or in the early stages ask for all the details and mentally prepare yourself.
• The emotional roller coaster is inevitable...

Wrap up Question

"It's because you’re Pregnant why your acting like this!"...Is this always the case or can you even tell the difference? 

~BK Mommy2Be